No More Misunderstandings . . .

If you want a simple formula for success try this . . . Make different choices and you’ll get different results.

I define success more so by my active participation in creating something. For example, I am helping mold my children into people that can proactively solve problems and contribute to the world. When what I do doesn’t have that result, I “make different choices” about how to raise them until I get the results I’m looking for.

The gap between one who accomplishes more goals & one who doesn’t. Is the gap between how much you know & how much you actually apply.

The idea that knowledge is power is a myth. Knowledge applied is power. It is by applying what you know to solve problems for yourself and others that you make your contribution to the world.

How much further ahead would you be if you took action on what you want instead of talking yourself out of it?

It is a common habit to self sabotage by telling ourselves we can’t have the very things we want. In doing so we prioritize avoiding the pain of work or disappointment over the improved quality of life and happiness we’d experience if we just did the work to create what we want.

There are few positive uses of the word “Can’t.” Here are some of them. “I can’t please everyone.” “I can’t do it all.” “I can’t be too kind or too grateful.”

As Spectrumites enter the Summer months and experience a long break from school. Parents and Spectrumites alike struggle to make use of the time. Thoughts of social skills groups, summer camps etc are tossed about. What is unfortunate about these suggestions is that they tend to involve others working with our Spectrumites in order to equip them with the skills needed to solve the problems of life.

In the never ending search to help our children develop the tools to prevent them from entering adulthood completely helpless. Parents often render themselves helpless by frequently leaving the skill building to others. I implore you as one parent to another to be the one to set the standard by becoming your child’s mentor. Learn the tools yourself! You spend the most time with your child and have the greatest opportunity to equip your child for life.

For this Summer I encourage you to begin by asking yourself the following questions:

1) What has your child learned about him/herself today in terms of his/her competence?

2) When your child speaks disrespectfully about him/herself how do you respond?

3) Do you require your child to ask for help or do you simply provide it for him/her?

4) While actively working to discipline your child through punishment and consequences, what methods do you use to teach Self-Discipline?

5) How much time do you spend teaching your child problem-solving?

For more strategies on precisely how to answer these questions CLICK HERE.

Brian responds to email questions and discusses the Three main parts of relationships that are critical for those on the Spectrum to understand in order to make friends.

A rope, a hope, a beleif and a dream have one thing in common. They can only serve their purpose if held onto tightly.

For too often people lose hope, waver in their beliefs and give up on their dreams. Why? Because they allow themselves to hold onto other things instead. Self doubt, fear, anger and more are dream killers. They can suck the life out of hope. Yes these things can slip into our minds from time to time but here’s the difference. Do you simply acknowledge them as they pass through your mind? Acknowledge them while still holding onto your hope or your dream. Or do you let go entirely and grasp a hold of negativity with one and even worse, both hands? Many of my clients come to me with both hands wrapped around their anxiety, fear and anger. Through our work together, they quickly realize the rope they once held, the one they are holding onto, and finally how to grasp the one that will support them in moving toward happiness. What are you holding on to?

One way to make sure things get worse over time is to accumulate missed opportunities to do things differently.

It never ceases to amaze me how people settle for mediocrity in their lives. How parents can often mistake rescuing and enabling for effective parenting. When the opportunity to teach problem solving is traded in for continuing to render a child helpless by solving problems for them.

If you don’t know how to do things otherwise then it is time to learn how. I can help you break this cycle. Read my “Welcome To The Possibilities” and “Win-Win Parenting” pages to learn how we can work together to create the change you want, need and deserve.

A friend is someone who by virtue of sharing a common experience, the experience is significantly better than if experienced alone.

Connecting with peers and even family members is the most difficult thing for those of us on the Autism Spectrum to do. As an adult on the Autism Spectrum I’ve spent a lifetime working to bridge the gap between myself and others. I have figured out how and my life is so much richer. I am honored to be able to teach you and your child how to do the same.

It’s difficult to accept that you can’t please everyone when you currently beleive that you can’t please anyone.

Criticism is the way people of all ages on the Autism Spectrum receive feedback about how they’re doing. Is it a wonder they often become so negative and self critical? Criticism can hurt deeply and be difficult to overcome.  I work with dozens of clients on finding their true value, hidden under the pain of criticism. I teach parents how to give feedback that builds a child’s inner strength and confidence.