Christmas anxiety

I found this year that I can do a few things differently to help the anxiety of Christmas for my grandson. (13 yrs old)

1. we don't put our tree up too early
He asked us not to wrap (his gifts and put them under the tree too early). He said, "It is too hard on me to look at them and know I can not open them yet. So, thinking about this. I asked him if he would be upset that other people had gifts under the tree before he did..wondering if we would just wait until 21st (or so) to put them all under the tree.
He said, "No, it will not bother me to see the gifts as long as you wait until later for MINE. He can't handle the (waiting).
We did this and it went pretty well! :)

2. My husband & I have always bought a live tree. Well this year, without talking about it. My husband & I were out shopping & we bought a store tree, brought it home, slid it in the house with the announcement, "Look what we bought!" NOT good! My g'son went straight into a meltdown! "Christmas will NEVER be the same now!" After a LOT of talk and understanding... We took the tree back to the store & we bought our outdoor tree. My extended family went off, Why do you let him have his way like that? He is just bulling you and your husband."
Well, here is why we took the tree back.
Christmas is about BEING HAPPY and this would have ruined that happiness for my grandson, so I would rather my my family (all of us) happy than the store bought tree!
Years ago I heard this advise and I still use it. "Pick your battles!"

I love this wen site! Pls add me if anyone is interested. Kat

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Permalink Reply by Brian R. King LCSW on January 11, 2012 at 7:31am

You're very kind, there is so much to learn. Pick up a copy of my new book and will learn more than you can imagine. Here's the link http://amzn.to/xvrdjA

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Permalink Reply by Kathy Hull on January 11, 2012 at 11:21am

I just ordered it. :) I fell (education is never) a bad thing.

Thank you for suggesting it. I am open to any suggestions. :) I look for direction because I feel that the only thing worse.... than not understanding is.... not trying to learn.

Sometimes I think, Well it is the same as it was before we know what it was called, but really it isn't. Now that I know.. I need to get to know the person in him that I didn't know was there.

Does that sound crazy? My daughter tells me, I over think this, I think I am just trying to learn. Kat

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Permalink Reply by Brian R. King LCSW on January 11, 2012 at 12:26pm

Getting to know the person inside is critical. Once you know how to navigate his anxiety and determine just what he needs things will make sense. The book is a very good start.