Understanding Black and White Thinking in Autism

It is a common characteristic of people on the autism spectrum, and come to think of it, a lot of other people, to categorize things into two main categories - black or white.

Of course seeing things as all or nothing, right or wrong leaving no room for the consideration of gray isn't a requirement of the autistic mind but more so the mind in dire need of certainty.

We all want things we can count on, predictable experiences, a sense of what’s coming.  We want to know that we’ll have food when we’re hungry, a roof over our heads and protection from danger. When any of those sources of certainty are threatened we’ll find it in other ways, such as religion, wishful thinking, optimism etc.

Uncertainty

This world we live in, the relationships we choose seem to be increasing sources of unreliability. One of the main ways we reconcile this is to insist our experiences align themselves with inflexible categories in an effort to bring a sense of order to our lives.

If things can only be all or nothing, this way or that way, win or lose we provide ourselves the opportunity to feel more prepared to manage life with only two possible outcomes.

The Gray

The challenge with the all or nothing requirement is that life has a fascinating way of being creative. Instead of falling comfortably into categories it instead provides for countless examples of overlap and interconnectness.

So where does a mind insistent on certainty find solace in such a world? The place I have found it is in mastering resilience. Knowing that the one certain experience I have had is the experience of moving through every experience I've ever had.

That's a certainty we all have and can be our greatest source of strength. If we choose it to be.

What are you working through today?

Photo Credit the justified sinner via Flikr

Tags: autism, confidence, coping, relationships, resilience, success

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Comment by Brian R. King LCSW on February 10, 2012 at 7:24am: Courtney, in my own life I have learned to ask one very direct question, "Do you want my honest opinion or is there a preferred response to your question?" When I ask this others either retract their questions, decide to ask someone else or ask a different question.

Comment by Courtney Banks on February 10, 2012 at 12:06am: I'm working through trying to understand when the truth is appropriate. Sometimes the truth is expected, but then other times expected to "stretch" the truth or work around it. It is confusing trying to figure out when to tell the truth and when to share fiction.

Comment by Brian R. King LCSW on January 25, 2012 at 8:26pm: Very interesting Jamie.

Comment by Jamie Martin on January 25, 2012 at 7:25pm: The gray is so tough for my son but it is developing. We sometimes play a modified version of a game he made up. His was "would it be good or bad if...?". It is typically based on what behaviors would be appropriate. I changed the game to "would it be good, bad or somewhere in between?"

It gives us a way to discuss and expand the gray area in a time not of crisis but of calm!

Comment by Brian R. King LCSW on January 25, 2012 at 11:08am: Excellent Nina : )

Comment by Nina Green on January 25, 2012 at 10:55am: This is what I'm working on with my son. We talk about not being a "Binar" all the time...that's a character off of Star Trek..everything was black or white in their world. It's very hard, but we well get it. We are also exploring points of view...:)

Comment by Brian R. King LCSW on January 25, 2012 at 10:16am: Spot on Melissa.

Comment by Melissa Ford on January 25, 2012 at 8:38am: Nice post, Brian! I notice that a sure-fire way to feel unhappy is to think in terms of black or white. When I start to consider other options or ways of feeling and being - I realize I can be as creative as the world around me.

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