If you're on the autism spectrum you have anxiety, in fact, it's common to experience it all the time in varying degrees. So what's up with that?

In many cases, especially mine, what's mistaken as anxiety is actually irritability that results from issues involving sensory dysregulation. The feeling of a body in a constant struggle to regulate itself while simultaneously trying to organize the information from whatever environment it's in.

The more general reason for anxiety which is shared by people as a whole is the ongoing fear of criticism either from others or your own inner critic.

What if I'm wrong

People who are more anxious than not tend to view any outcome other than the desires one as a screw up. Then the cascade of criticism begins, mostly from themselves.

They will mercilessly beat themselves up by calling themselves stupid and creating lists of woulda coulda shoulda's that leave them feeling as though it was their  responsibility to have a crystal ball to prevent anything but the ideal from occurring.

The stage is set for anxiety when the story you tell yourself about your own effectiveness begins with questions such as: What if I'm wrong? What if I screw up?

The answers to those questions will be negative and people don't want to experience the answers, the criticism, which is what they dread more than anything.  

I'm not afraid

As I think about those who seem to enjoy adventure, new experiences and bounce back more easily from disappointment, I see a common characteristic. They value whatever the experience gives them as an education as opposed to a measure of whether they did something right or wrong.

They don't ask themselves the questions those who are anxious do. Instead they make statements such as, "Let's make some progress," "Let's get to it" Let's make something happen." 

Their statements are more outcome driven and solution focused whereas the anxious person is problem focused. The person who is outcome focused tends not to believe in failure but sees only feedback in their experiences.

The feedback doesn't indicate failure it only indicates whether they're heading in the right direction or need to change course. Changing course simply refers to doing something more effective to get better results.

In the end

It all comes down to focus. Whether on the autism spectrum or not, a person who feels ineffective in life and gets stuck in a pattern of expecting criticism learns to see that as the most likely outcome. The result is to dread most of life's experiences, especially the ones that help us make progress.

One solution is to identify a negative question you ask yourself frequently, such as, "What if I'm wrong?" Or a negative statement such as "I hope I don't screw this up" and replace it with a more solution focused question or statement that leads to a feeling of curiosity or excitement instead of dread.

Reverse one negative question or statement at a time, over time, until you feel excited and empowered in life instead of anxious about living your life.

Photo Credit Corrina Palmer Photography via Flikr